Some weeks the police report is, you know, ho hum. This week makes up for it. A few things worth mentioning before you make the jump:

Two guys break into the middle school, tear the place to pieces … and then pass out on the soccer field.
The sobriety checkpoint netted three DUI arrests, and then 15 [...]

Sorry for the big lag. Don’t get me wrong, Ireland was fun. But going back and cobbling together the past few weeks of police reports? Not so much fun. My favorite is the kid who saw the “Road Closed” sign on the 110 on-ramp, and took it as more of a suggestion. Very full report [...]

Grover’s Corners had Simon Stimson, Mayberry had Otis Campbell, and South Pas has a rotating cast of wandering inebriates. Full report after the jump.

Prepare to be shocked: People were lighting fireworks in South Pas last week. The full (but brief) police report after the jump.

Maybe I’ve seen too many movies, but whenever someone cuts a hole in the roof to get inside the Japanese restaurant, odds are the perp is a ninja. It’s worth a mention that there were a couple of robberies in South Pas last week: one at gunpoint and the other at knifepoint. Also, an impressive [...]

So let me get this straight: The “victim” is the guy wielding a machete in Carmine’s parking lot? Also, the South Pasadena Review gets burgled. Full police report after the jump:

Six DUI arrests and an employee plucks from the till at Wild Thyme. The full police report after the jump:

Attempted kidnapping, sex with minors, assault … this was not our best week. Full report after the jump.

So you wake up in the morning and can’t find your cellphone. Logical conclusion: Someone broke into your home and stole the phone while you slept. Just the phone. The full police report after the jump:

Two lessons we can take away from last week’s police report: No smokin’ in the boys’ room, and don’t smoke pot when you’re illegally parked. Really, just don’t smoke pot in your car. One officer used the questionable excuse of investigating a “suspiciously parked vehicle” to make a bust. There was also a bunch of [...]